Cultural Norms & Impression Management

Introduction

Over the past seven weeks of attending an Interpersonal Communications class, I have explored a variety of ideas and concepts that I can apply to my personal and professional life. These topics are paramount to me, as I have struggled with Asperger’s Syndrome for as long as I can remember. Asperger’s Syndrome is a developmental disorder, characterized by difficulties in social interaction, nonverbal communication, repetitive behaviors, and/or restricted interests. There is no known cure, but it can be readily managed through medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, peer support, and persistent education on topics related to social barriers. Although I have made tremendous progress over the years, I am still known to be clumsy in my approach and perceptions toward people. Several concepts in the class have already proven to be invaluable, as I am left with a better understanding of how to handle various situations I find myself in. My name is Bleauregard von Kasadu, and I am here to report on two of the topics in class that have helped me the most so far; Cultural Norms and Impression Management.

Cultural norms involve patterns of behavior that are common within a specific in-group, including the values that are shared among said groups. They are considered to be the acceptable means of performing within social situations, whether it be by communication or generally how people within the group are treated. These behaviors can be compartmentalized into three different scales: High vs. Low-Context Culture, Achievement vs. Nurturing Culture, and Individualistic vs. Collectivistic Culture. Though there are more that can be explored, I have opted out of mentioning them for the convenience of this report. High-context cultures rely heavily on non-verbal cues, relationship history, and assumed social rules to convey messages without spoken language. Low-context cultures rely on direct language to convey thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Achievement cultures focus on completing tasks, and obtaining material success. Nurturing cultures place more emphasis on success within relationships. Individualistic cultures perceive themselves as being the most important to care for, while collectivistic cultures perceive others as being more important.

High vs. Low Context

Since I began learning about cultural norms, I have noticed how it applies to the people I interact with in my personal life. It helps me to understand where they are coming from, instead of blindly assuming they are being unfair towards me intentionally. For instance, being a low-context individual moving into a high-context household can be frustrating. My relatives here in Arizona will leave certain objects in different places or alter the environment in some way, to convey their expectations of what needs to be accomplished. I am left to decipher if there is meaning to be found in their placement. My relatives do this to save face- or external perspective of their personality- and to avoid direct confrontation that would otherwise jeopardize the comfort of the common areas we occupy. If I miss a cue, they become visually frustrated. I say “visually”, because they make a scene to convey their frustration without verbally expressing their concerns (such as slamming doors and exaggerated body language). Sometimes there is no cue and I make myself look paranoid when I seek to confront them about the perceived expectations, or frustrations that do not involve me. These people do not seem accustomed to people like me that struggle with nonverbal communication, or that speak directly about our concerns. Knowing that they struggle with low-context situations as well as I struggle with high-context situations helps me to be more empathetic about their position. With this in mind, I am more open to adapting to their culture and finding constructive ways of verbalizing my concerns.

Achievement vs. Nurture

My relatives are more interested in me being successful than actually building an emotional connection with me, anyway. In the past, I have wondered why they were so eager to influence my material success, while their methods pushed me away emotionally. As if the weight of my wallet is more important than the weight of my heart. As it turns out, my relatives are part of an achievement culture. They are known to clash with my nurturing culture standpoint, since I am historically more interested in forming relationships than achieving status on the basis of material gain. This behavior could very well be the symptom of necessity, since I find it difficult to connect with people overall (call it ironic). Understanding their culture grants me insight into their agenda. To motivate my professional life is just how they show their love towards me. They want me to be in a place of value, which to them is a vision of a well-paying job, nice house, car, and debt in good standing. That is what they think happiness and success looks like. Knowing that they are acting out of love means their advances are much more tolerable, allowing me head space to react with a better conscience.

Individualist vs. Collectivist

My relatives and I do agree on one culture, though; collectivism. We believe in taking care of one another before ourselves, which can often be our downfall. I can only think of one relative who is individualistic, in which they would rather navigate life on their own without the help of others. Since our main focus is on concerning ourselves with others, we are known to cross boundaries that ordinarily should not be crossed. We may involve ourselves in each others’ conflicts, which may be helpful or inappropriate. Sometimes we take on the mantle of mediator, and make sure that the conflict dissipates before it becomes worse than it is at the time. Other times, our own opinions and frustrations can muddy something that started out trivially. My relatives can be a major source of strength or inconvenience due to their collectivistic nature, while I have been known to neglect my life in favor of studying environmentalism for longer than is probably healthy for me. We are willing to endure sacrifices we feel are necessary to help those around us. With this understanding of our collectivistic nature, I am filled with a level of admiration and respect towards my relatives and I that builds a sense of trust. After all, I can reasonably expect that we are not motivated by selfish agendas.

Cultural Norms in the Workplace

These cultural norms and values can be applied to my future career as a business owner, environmentalist, and social engineer. I seek to build a vast social enterprise, which requires me to understand the cultures that people come from. It allows me to maximize the potential of the teams I build, and to create a safe and productive environment for them. For instance, knowing that an individual has trouble talking about their concerns could imply that they possess strengths in nonverbal communication; and visa-versa. For me to pair them with a low-context individual means that in the beginning, I should invest my focus on exploring communication weaknesses between the two. This may be accomplished by establishing specific mediation sessions to break down those barriers. One individual could be identified by an individualistic culture, and so it might be better to rely on them for projects they could complete on their own. Another may emphasize placing more value on their achievements than their relationships. People within achievement cultures might be motivated on incentives that reward them for completion of their tasks, rather than their ability to work as a team. Understanding these cultures may help me tailor various reward systems to employees’ specifications in this way. Without the knowledge of cultural norms and values, I am blindly navigating groups of people in a fit of hit-or-miss. While some people might find comfort in the design I lay out for them, I am much more effective at finding the sweet spots of my business’s social systems by knowing what cultures these people come from. It is as if I need to define the edges of puzzle pieces, before deciding where they should fit together.

Impression Management

Even with the understanding of cultural norms and values, I am still left to wonder what layers of personality people are allowing to show through their facework. As if we may opt out of expressing culture in favor of maintaining face with others around us. Impression management is when people organize their personality into layers, so as to be more presentable and accepted by a specific person or community. An individual may act casually when at home, telling certain jokes or even talking louder and using more vulgarities than in public view. When they are at work, the individual may be quieter, stand taller, more professional in their verbal cues. We are a bit like our own playwrights, where we create roles for each other based on our desired place in a social structure. People will act tough when they want to be a leading role, or we victimize ourselves when we want others to care for us. We are even known to hide emotions, in order to avoid confrontation or other undesired scenarios. This not only helps us maintain our place in the social structures we find ourselves in, but it can also protect us from vulnerabilities we choose not to share with people we do not yet trust. There are details about our lives that could be detrimental towards our relationships, if we share them with others at the wrong time or progression of our connection.

Personal Reflections on Impression Management

In my personal life, impression management has rarely been my strong suit. There are plenty of details about myself that could make or break an early connection with others. Indeed, an old habit of over-sharing can be a symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome, as I once lacked the ability to differentiate what was and was not appropriate for the situation; including breadth, depth, timing, and location. I had wondered why people did not like me or wanted to engage in conversation, until I was approached by friends enough times for it to finally click in my head. Today, I am much more aware of what I say to people, though I still feel anxiety when I cannot just “be myself”. There are still moments that I present myself in the wrong way. I am still known to interrupt people without letting them finish talking, and become confused at times when I try to find that communicative balance of talking and listening. There are still times I share details that are not appreciated by some people. I still make long-winded statements about facts that others are probably not interested in, or have very little to do with the subject at hand. More often than not, I can be too confrontational to people in general. By understanding the dynamics of impression management, I can better organize my facework. Knowing that various friends and family are sensitive to specific topics mean that I should be more sensitive to those topics as well, if I want to maintain the same connection with them. There are just some concepts people are not comfortable exploring or being challenged on, and to shed light on those subjects is not always necessary. Some people do not appreciate the high energy output or intensity of my personality in general, and so I need to learn to find ways of relaxing that volume and intensity if I am to continue building those connections.

Impression Management in the Workplace

Impression management can be heavily expressed through the work environment of our professional lives. We tend to act as though we are well-groomed and maintained even if we are not, and will even choose not to express our real thoughts and intentions. This can be motivated by fear, as we are often afraid of presenting ourselves, talking, or performing in such a way that may sabotage our job security. When I worked at Chipotle Mexican Grill, my co-workers generally kept details of their personal lives and perspectives to themselves. It seemed like they were motivated by saving face, since we had to be in close proximity to each other almost at all times for 6-14 hours a day. The grill cook, Jeremiah, had mentioned before that he perceived me to be an eccentric individual, which was likely because I was not fluent in impression management. My co-workers’ calm and conservative facework vs. my loud and deep conversational nature could easily make me out to be eccentric. Knowing how my personality can affect the public’s perspective of me helps me better develop different faces that are appropriate to the environment. The employees of Chipotle may have a small effect on my life, but what if I was in a room full of politicians? What sort of face can help or hurt me when I try to lobby for strict laws involving pollution and climate change, or support for advancements in biotechnology? Certain details and quirks could make or break a potentially life-changing proposal.

Conclusion

These past seven weeks in Interpersonal Communications have been among the most important lessons in my life. Having Asperger’s Syndrome can be and has been an incredibly lonely journey. Not many people seem to understand how mild and debilitating it can be, for they are often more focused on their own beliefs, values, and reputations to consider the perspectives of others. I suspect this is mainly due to how much emphasis we place on visual representation, and how “normal” I seem. If I am not acting out, then there is nothing wrong with me; or so it seems. It can be dicey to differentiate what people struggle with, what they grew up to believe as part of their culture, and what they are using to manage the impressions they present to others. For me in particular, understanding people is a huge accomplishment, and it just goes to show what the human condition can overcome when we really invest in our experience. Understanding cultural norms and values helps me to see where people are coming from, so that I can act in such a way that is mutually beneficial and respectful to their views. I would hope that they respond in a similar way; to treat me as I treat them. Though, sometimes that is not the case. Sometimes, I can actually be inconsiderate and act rudely without realizing it. By developing my facework, I can mitigate those situations. I can devise a system of actions and reactions that are consistent across a broad spectrum of individuals, so that more people will appreciate me. Maybe then, they will be more open to understanding where I am coming from. Cultural norms and impression management is not only important for navigating my life, but also my line of work. I will be addressing and convincing representatives from a variety of nations. Part of my job will be to identify markers in their cultures, so as to be more respectful in their presence. I will need to be able to manage the impressions I leave on the leaders of our world, or I will quickly find myself out of a job with little-to-no influence. Since, no one will want to work with me. While I may have a social disorder with no known cure, I have yet give up on myself. Please allow this report to present itself as proof. There are classes out there that can teach people like me to harness the tools necessary to connect with neurotypical individuals in a healthy and meaningful way. To which, I am truly blessed to have such an opportunity.