Blu's Personality & Stress

Introduction

It is a matter of utmost importance for us human beings to explore the nature of our personalities, and how we handle stress. These concepts may seem unrelated, but they are key mechanics in the way we interact with the world around us. There are two assessments one can take to foster a better understanding of ourselves in this regard. For specifics on our personalities, we can take the “16 Personalities Test”. There is also a survey on coping mechanisms, called the “Brief COPE Questionnaire”. Both can be found online. My name is Bleauregard (Blu) von Kasadu, and I was asked to reflect on my own results of these tests for my Introduction to Psychology class. I will begin with the personality test. There was a friend of mine, Madi, who also took this test. I will compare and contrast hers with mine, and look at how accurately they portray our behaviors. There are people in my life who frustrate me by exhibiting traits opposite of my own, which will be discussed. After exploring the 16 Personality Test, I will share my thoughts on the Brief COPE Questionnaire. For instance, some coping strategies mentioned in the test have worked for me, and some have not. I have noticed areas of improvement, and how adopting these improvements may positively impact the level of stress I feel in my life. I will conclude this reflection paper with the most significant insights I have gained from taking these assessments, and how they can help me in future situations.

Personality

Personality is defined as the traits and patterns that cause an individual to think, feel, and behave in certain ways. It comes from the Latin word persona, which was the name given to masks worn by actors in the ancient world. In his book, The Archtypes and the Collective Unconscious, psychoanalyst Carl Jung (“Yoong”) wrote that the persona “is the individual's system of adaptation to, or the manner he assumes in dealing with, the world. (…) One could say, with a little exaggeration, that the persona is that which in reality one is not, but which oneself as well as others think one is.” The 16 Personalities Test was designed by a company called NERIS Analytics Limited. They drew heavily on Carl Jung’s work, as well as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, to create a robust self-assessment of one’s own strengths and weaknesses in their thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships. After a stream of about a hundred questions, ranging from agree to disagree, it spits out a list of traits one is more or less likely to possess that is associated with a personality type.

The Turbulent Advocate

I am thoroughly impressed by the accuracy of the test, and now feel a much greater sense of understanding about myself as a person. My personality type is that of The Advocate (INFJ-T), role of Diplomat, strategy of Constant Improvement. “INFJ-T” stands for (I)nsight, I(N)tuition, (F)eeling, (J)udgment, and (T)urbuent, which reflects the core values of The Advocate. To advocate is to speak or argue in favor of a cause, especially for another person. They are supporters and defenders. It is apparently “very rare” to possess this personality type, making up less than one-percent of the population. Advocates have an inborn sense of idealism, morality, and altruism. Our dreams are as big as our hearts, of which we are not idle to act upon. The motivations of Advocates are not built upon the satisfaction of being a person who solves problems, but of having solved the problems for people. We are soft-spoken and strong-willed, decisive and passionate, with views that we are willing to fight for. Our actions are driven with creativity, imagination, conviction, and sensitivity; to create balance rather than personal gain. In fact, we seek to balance introverted and extroverted traits- though, we are inherently introverted.

General Traits

Advocates are warm, sociable, and personable, but we still need time alone to recharge and decompress. We spend a great deal of time caring for others, which leaves us investing little time into our own self-care. This can cause us to burn out really easily, and is indeed one of our greatest downfalls. Advocates are so passionate about these great causes we are fighting for, mundane tasks make us feel restless and disappointed. As such, our selflessness can translate to self-neglect. I am a turbulent form of Advocate, so I can be a perfectionist due to how hard I have worked to build these ideals of how my life and the lives of others should be.

Relationships

Perfectionism can bring difficulty to the intimacy of a Turbulent Advocate, since we are picky. We are looking for depth and sincerity in our relationships. If either is unfounded, we are not afraid to leave in search of something more meaningful. Our love runs deep, with ample passion and affection in every area of human connection. Even our friends benefit from these traits. We believe they are family, and should be treated as such. It can be difficult to arrive at a solid friendship, nonetheless. We look for people we can grow with, and be compatible to. With our perfectionist views, we could easily walk away from a potentially healthy connection on the basis that they have not grown in their ways well enough for our vision. This is further complicated by the sheer number of people that are drawn to the Advocate personality type. We carry significant influence due to our drive and creativity, which translates to power. Our innate sense of altruism and morality renders us humble, so we are not interested in such influence. This can cause difficulty in our search for connection in general. We are introverted, and become exhausted by social situations. The amount of people who seek to impress us carries with them the essence of inauthenticity that we can easily pick out, and our rare personality type leaves few out there we can truly relate to. As a result, we prefer a few close-knit friends among crowds of acquaintances.

Parenting

Our children are seen as opportunities for mutual growth with someone we care for. We are unflinching in our devotion to our kids, with a desire to raise a responsible adult that we can communicate with and relate to as equals. The traits we hold true to ourselves are instilled into them, while teaching them to be unique and independent. It can offend us deeply if they rebel against our ways, as we may feel like they are pointing out flaws that we worked hard to justify as strengths. At the end of the day, we may realize these conflicting beliefs are a sign of success. If we raise children that understand right from wrong, forming their own ideals, and fighting for their own causes, then we have accomplished our goals with them.

Career Path

Our career path steers away from corporate executive status, for we are not interested in power or material gain. Actually, Advocates have trouble picking between the many options we are interested in. We can see the intrinsic rewards involved in each, and to choose one eliminates the opportunities from the others. One quality that is shared between them is the prospect of helping and connecting with people in a deeply meaningful way. We want to solve difficult problems for people in great need, as doctors, counselors, and advisers. Advocates crave creative and productive labor. Jobs that employ our insight to connect the dots, and exact real change in the lives of others’ personal lives. We are writers of eloquent papers; authors of fantastical stories; musicians, photographers, artists of deeply moral and spiritual meaning. To follow and maintain the policies of others will not do, as they often conflict with an Advocate’s unique and carefully determined moral compass. Our desire for a leadership position is not born out of a lust for power, but of a drive to suit our independent nature. As we are humble and noncompetitive, leadership roles also feed our need for growth in areas we may not be used to or comfortable with.

Cooperation

Mundane tasks-accounting or quick-order restaurants- are off the table. Advocates need to know that what we are working on has meaning, helps people, leads to personal growth, and aligns with our core values. Basically, we become stressed if we are not fulfilling our potential for solving the greatest problems that humanity has ever faced. We value diplomacy and sensitivity. Superiority and inferiority fail as legitimate constructs in our minds. As a result, Advocates tend to perform poorly as subordinates. The assigned rules, hierarchies, and routine tasks of the workplace are largely disregarded in favor of our own independence. Our work is completed regardless, but on our own terms and with our own meaning. If met with criticism, an Advocate’s morale could tank dramatically, and we lose sight of meaning behind continuing our work. If our leaders are able to empathize with our positions, we will be hardworking, trustworthy, and responsible members of the workforce.

Leadership

To other colleagues, we are viewed favorably as a positive influence. Advocates favor harmony and cooperation, and are not afraid to quell conflict in and around ourselves. Our primary drive is to help people, and we show it through our work ethic. This can also be of detriment to us, since we do not welcome popularity, and need to be alone from time to time to recharge. Our nature can leave us open to being taken advantage by those that would rather place their labor burdens onto others. We make excellent managers, since we treat subordinates as equals. That does not imply that we are lenient, but that we focus more on balancing out the workload than being authoritarian; coordinating, inspiring, and motivating others. Advocates expect their subordinates to be competent and reliable, for they have guided them to be as such. If these qualities are misplaced, or we are taken advantage of, the Advocate manager is swift and cold in disciplining our workers. We have no tolerance for laziness, ignorance, or carelessness.

Madi the Mediator

I have enlisted my friend, Madi, to the 16 Personalities Test. Her results were that of The Turbulent Mediator (INFP-T). To mediate is to resolve or settle by working with all conflicting parties. This personality type is rather similar to The Advocate, in quite a few fundamental ways. First of all, they are rare, encompassing only four-percent of the population. It can be difficult for Mediators to find others they can relate to, which may lead to isolation. Though, they temper this by seeing the good in everyone, and are able to connect with people in such a way. Mediators are also guided by their principles and a high moral compass, rather than material gain. They value harmony, have no desire for power over others, are unconventionally creative, and are incredibly passionate about what they believe in. Madi is reserved, which makes it difficult for her to make new friends. This is not really a quality I find in myself.

It is interesting to notice the extent that the qualities we compare and contrast ourselves to can compliment the connections we make with others. In the case of Madi and I, we are generally pure of intention. It is comforting to be around these kinds of people, and so we are drawn to those with such qualities. She is also reserved, while I am outgoing. This may seem like a conflict of interest, but I have made friends that I can help her meet. Her social anxiety tailors to my Advocate nature of helping people, and my desire to help her tailors to her Mediator nature of seeing the good in everyone. I could be taken advantage of by people who would exploit my help unnecessarily, and she could be taken advantage of by people who are not as good as the qualities they try to impress her with. Both of our personality types leave ourselves open to be used, but we are exactly the kind of people who would not take advantage of those weaknesses. We are simply genuine and altruistic in our resolve.

Contradictions

There are people in my life that truly push my buttons, for they exhibit behaviors that are the complete opposite of the qualities and values I hold true to myself. For instance, practically every business I have ever worked for values profit over the health and comfort of their own employees. To me, this perspective is detrimental to the health of the business itself. Employee turn-over rate is much higher than it can be; money and labor is wasted on extraneous instances of training new employees; more time is spent out of work for sick employees; and there is a general lack of respect for the company. They try to instill their superiority onto me, but I can see them use control to temper their insecurities. I rarely allow them to use me to satisfy these insecurities, which can result in unnecessary hostility. This same scenario is shared between family, past roommates, and other colleagues. It is also difficult to stand idly by, and allow someone to make mistakes that are easily solvable. My instinct is to correct the behaviors, whether it be abusive behavior, health-related choices, or otherwise inefficient means of conducting daily tasks. Rarely does anyone in my life appreciate being wrong about their ways, and so hostility and continued detriment continues.

The Brief COPE Questionnaire

Moving away from the 16 Personalities Test, I would like to now discuss the Brief COPE Questionnaire. This survey was designed by Dr. Carver of the University of Miami. It was created to help individuals determine which coping mechanisms they use to handle conflict, and what research says about these methods. The survey is made up of twenty-eight questions, self-graded from one-to-four; ranging from “not at all” to “a lot”, respectively. Each question asks the reader to grade their experience, such as “turned to work or other activities to take my mind off things”, and “refused to believe that it has happened.” The scores are then allocated to fourteen different coping strategies, which results in a two-to-eight point rating for each strategy. They determine which ones are more strongly employed than others.

My Results

Taking the survey rendered an accurate assessment. My top two coping strategies are active coping and planning (at eight points, each). These, I use consistently during conflict situations. My realistic nature helps to mitigate false conceptions about the situations I find myself in. I blatantly refuse to lie to myself. Unfavorable situations are not really bad, since they provide greater learning opportunities than being in favorable situations. Even if I am in a difficult position, it is only temporary. There are enjoyable parts of my situations that I can use to buffer difficult times, such as coloring a picture during financial hardships. It is not necessarily self-distracting, but rather lowering my standards and expectations for the moment; or as they say “enjoying the simple things in life.” I also thoroughly plan during hardships, and that really helps to keep my head together. If I have a realistic plan in action, then it is no longer a conflict or an obstacle that stands in my way of moving forward. Rather, an opportunity to test my patience. These plans are rarely concrete though, and I account for that by leaving room for fluidity.

The next tier down are emotional support, instrumental support, positive reframing, and acceptance (at six points, each). I often use these coping strategies, but not always. Having emotionally supportive people in my life is kind of new to me, and I try not to rely on them for coping purposes. However, the more I share my experiences with others, the more I understand exactly where they fall into the level of care my friends and family have over me. It is a great way to see how far they are willing to invest in me. When I do share my feelings, some people may not understand what advice they can share. Instead, I welcome the instrumental support they are quicker to provide. People are more prone to offer money, food, clothes, physical labor, enjoyable activities, or an environment to be in. Aside from help that others can supply, I may seek to self-soothe. Reframing the situations to be positive impacts on my life is a highly effective means of approaching my conflicts. I can even simply accept that life does not favor anyone’s draw of the deck, and I am bound to the possibility of acquiring inconvenient cards.

The third tier are self-distraction and venting (at five points, each). I sometimes use these strategies. Distracting myself with other activities can be effective, but I am known to become distracted by what I am trying to be distracted from. For instance, I may play music or visit other peoples’ lives to be away from my conflicts. It can cause me to have difficulty concentrating on a song, when I am upset over a conflict. When I am with friends, I may vent to them about what I am conflicted with. Venting is not even that effective, since I end up in an inner conflict over what I have said. It can cause anxiety and shame, for I worry that I have said the wrong thing about a certain someone involved in the conflict. As though I am judging them wrongly for how they are, instead of being empathetic about their perspective in the situation. I also unload my burdens onto someone else, which is not fair to their energy. To visit people is to have fun and improve the climate, not bring everyone’s energy down with my problems.

At the fourth tier are coping strategies I rarely use, if at all; denial, substance use, behavioral disengagement, humor, and religion (at two points, each). As I said before, I refuse to lie to myself. Denial is not an option for me. It holds me back from growth and improvement, which I am constantly seeking. I have already been through stages of substance use to escape my problems, and it has been consistently and empirically proven to fail at effectively solving conflict. As an Advocate personality type, I cannot even fathom avoidance behavior such as behavioral disengagement. If something is wrong, I act on it; period. While I do tend to use dark humor as a means of coping with the terrible parts of our lives, I seldom use it during personal conflicts I find myself in. Admittedly, conflict is funnier when it is not happening to me. Unless I fall and hurt myself, which I usually laugh at. As for religion, I believe my destiny is in my own hands. I do not expect a deity of higher power to handle it for me. Where is the fun in that?

Conclusion

Taking the time to search through my thoughts and feelings has been an enlightening experience. My name is Bleauregard (Blu) von Kasadu; Turbulent Advocate, Conflict Reframer, Affluent Friend. The 16 Personalities Test and Brief COPE Questionnaire explains my behaviors with such accuracy, they are a-kin to a horoscope of psychology. I feel validated in my altruistic, determined, and intuitive nature. My cause seems more justified, as I am merely acting upon who I am as a human being. Comparing my results with Madi’s regarding the 16 Personalities Test shows me how and why my relationships with others form. It is interesting to see similar qualities gravitate towards one another, and how opposite qualities interact to work together. The Brief COPE Questionnaire sheds light on how I cope with unpleasant situations. I could choose to turn to ineffective or detrimental coping strategies, such as denial and substance use, but I choose not to. Even if sometimes I may not instantly handle it effectively, I believe I have a healthy outlook on conflict management and coping strategies. Maybe if I open myself up to vent more to people I truly trust with my thoughts and feelings, and close myself off to people that have not earned my trust, I may positively impact the level of stress I feel during conflict. These strategies can be applied to my life as a college student, and abroad; whether it be assignments I am having trouble with, people that look at me funny, or generally situations that push my buttons. Overall, I understand that as long as I place one foot in front of the other and continue to frame these situations as opportunities for growth, there is nothing that can stand in my way of a happy and successful life. I was born to make real, long-lasting positive changes in the world. It is due to reflections on thoughts and feelings such as these, as well as the people I hold dear to me, that I cannot nor will not fail.